Britney Spears Sells 100 Million Records

It’s official: Britney Jean Spears has sold 100 million records.In honor of this great accomplishment I am going to walk you through the time I’ve ‘spent’ with the Living Legend.  Do not read further you suffer from Stansophobia (Fear of Stans)!

My love for Britney Spears can be traced back to a bus ride where my sixth grade best friend passed me the single …Baby One More Time in a very under-the-table manner.  She very discreetly encouraged me to give it a shot.  I was a wee bit skeptical about this unknown artist: my best friend’s favorite song was ‘David Duchovny’ by Bree Sharp.  I raced home, placed …Baby One More Time in my Discman, and pressed play.

After listening to the single approximately 10 times, I watched the video repeatedly on my PC.  From that moment on I was a Britney Spears fan.

I become the proud owner of my first Britney Spear’s album after initiating a CD trade: Celine Dion’s Falling into You for Baby One More Time; ...Oops I Did It Again was purchased at a Plato’s Closet with my allowance and spare change that had been collected for weeks.   I distinctly remember watching her music videos on MTV, recording them to VHS, and watching them over and over (and over and over and over).

For my 17th birthday I received her Britney album as well as the DVD accompaniment; I made everyone watch the DVD during my birthday dinner and listen to the album en route to and from the mall.  (Keep in mind that I already had all of the videos from Baby and Oops on VHS, as well as the Behind-the-Videos.)  That same year I purchased her Live in Las Vegas DVD; I still watch it once every few months.

Her album In the Zone came out when I was a freshman in college.  I downloaded it weeks in advance and listened to it non-stop, burning copy after copy for every man/woman/child who knocked on my dorm door and inquired about the voice of an angel that was blaring through my desktop speakers.  Release day I skipped class, rode the shuttle bus to the parking lot, drove to Target, bought the album (which I already memorized), drove back to the parking lot and listened to the entire thing, singing every word.

That same year my roommate and I memorized the steps to the Crazy video.  I never told her I already knew it by heart from the VHS days; my sophomore year I wrote an entire paper about the media frenzy surrounding her first marriage, ironically also shot in Las Vegas.

The week Blackout was released I went on vacation; my gift to my neighbors was leaving the CD on repeat with a sign that read ‘Hope you have enjoyed listening to Britney’s new album xoxo Leah’.

The year of her Circus Tour I took my college bff to Chicago (actually she took me as I was vehicle-less) to SEE HER LIVE.  Here is a picture of my reaction to seeing Britney Jean Spears for the first time:

To this day, that was the single-most incredible moment of my entire life.

Go ahead and keep that white wig on.  I C U JUDGING ME.  You only make me Stronger.  I will tell you to your face that there is no argument you can make for me stop loving her.  I was Born to Make You Her Happy.

I know more about Britney Spears than you can begin to fathom.  Does this make me Crazy?  Possibly.  Is scheduling a Google Alert to delivered to my inbox everyday make me Toxic?  (I personally think it makes me Lucky.)  Will I boldly enter a discussion about her with complete strangers/haters?  Everytime.  You may think she’s Outrageous; but as for me and my house, I say, Gimme More.

Britney Spears makes me feel like I am sitting in a packed movie theater opening night. The air is electric; your heart races, your palms sweat, and you take a collective breath when they Kill the Lights. Will you be disappointed? Sometimes. Does this mean I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet a Woman? Definitely not.

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